Losing the sense of parenting? Modern day parenting offers many more challenges to face than ever before. Parents today feel more stressed, and feel they should be doing more as parents, and also for their job. One can also find more number of children with stress, sadness, bad health, loneliness, depression and anxiety. With life stressors on the rise, what can we do as parents to remain sane, and to raise children with a sound mind and body?
It’s a chaos that most parents, especially mothers have to face and fight, in managing home, work, social life and children. Here are some points to consider that can help parents avoid unnecessary life stressors that come with the modern day parenting.
- Avoiding Comparison: Comparing yourself as a parent or comparing your child with another child is something that creeps inside the mind before you know it. Observing a mother who is very successful in her career may make a stay-at-home mom feel inadequate and create psychological stress. The successful mother may have a good support system that helps her have enough time for her work, which the stay-at-home mom may not have. It’s her decision to stay at home, and she should respect this decision, because she has taken this decision only after figuring out what works best for her. Similarly for children, one should make sure that they are doing their best as per their age and potential, instead of comparing them with others.
- Common Sense: “My child won’t stop playing with stationary, which sometimes contains sharp objects like pins and staplers, sharpened pencils, permanent markers etc. I have tried explaining her, or telling her no, closing the room, but she would get back to the table to play with the sharp pins if she gets a chance. One day I decided to put all the stuff out of her sight and it worked!” When it comes to toddlers or even 3-4 year olds, many parenting techniques won’t work, and then there’s common sense.
- A perfect parent? Every parent makes mistakes, but it is important to accept them, learn from them, forgive and move on. It is important to keep a desire to raise happy and healthy children, but there’s no one-size-fits all formula. Parents have to believe their own instincts or seek help from friends who have been there, done that.
- There are challenges at every stage of a child’s life: Parents often expect that once the child grows up, it would become easier, but that never comes true, as at all ages there are different sets of challenges parents have to face. It would be a good idea to stay informed and be prepared.
- The kids will follow you: If parents want children to show good manners, then parents have to be the example, as children pick up and learn from parents. They are the first persons children learn from and look up to.
- Quality matters more than Quantity: For working parents, spending more time with their children becomes a challenge, but it is the quality of time (talking, playing games or studying together) spent with the children that matters more than the quantity of time. Also it’s important to make sure the kids are comfortable in their parents’ absence.
- Asking for help, helps: Getting overwhelmed by all the work and responsibilities is nothing new for a parent, but asking or arranging for help, helps in shedding some load off your shoulders.
- Seeing the warning signs? Time for a break: When stress starts taking a toll on health, you may see some warning signs like irritability, weakness, headaches, trouble sleeping, increase in body weight, anxiety, and persistent sadness, lack of concentration and lack of motivation. Its time to take a break and think about priorities.