Mom’s always there for you
“I cannot attend to you right now, please wait for some time!” – I am sure I say this to my daughter several times a day. I am not sure how she comprehends it. But she usually shares everything she wants or needs to, even if I lend a deaf ear sometimes, so I am not worried. The reason can be that I assure her – “Just give me few minutes, I’ll be there.” But what if some children comprehend it differently and start holding themselves back, and stop sharing even if something is really important, just because they feel that “mom is always very busy and she doesn’t have time to attend to me”, or “lets not disturb her because she already has lots of chores to finish”. What if something the child wants to share is not so important, but sharing that with mom makes her feel secure, but she simply holds herself back from communicating?
I came to realize this when I met my daughter’s friend the other day. She was coming along with me and my daughter to play for some time at my home. We were getting down the stairs and she complained of a slight constant pain in her leg and it was difficult for her to go down the stairs. We went a little slowly for her. She told me the pain started in her dance class recently and the pain is not subsiding. I suggested that she should ask her mom or dad to massage the leg gently or show a doctor. She told me “mom is really busy so I can’t ask her”.
I was a bit surprised to hear that. Why is she not clear that her mom is available for her when she really needs her attention? How did she get this idea? What made her assume that she should not tell her mom even when she needs her? Health is most important, and children should know that no matter what, they should let parents know even if it looks like something that can be ignored.
I explained to her that “your parents are always there for you, and you should tell your mom about the pain. Everything that your mom is doing is for you and she is always there for you. So never think this way. She will never be too busy for you.” After she left for her home, I called my daughter to sit with me and explained her the importance of sharing about any discomfort she feels, if its a physical body pain or a sadness or if she is scared, she can tell me no matter how busy I appear to her. I had this conversation with her even when I knew that she doesn’t hesitate from sharing, but it was important for me to give her this message anyway.
We know life keeps us occupied more than ever before, and it becomes even more important that children know that their parents are there for them when they need support, no matter how busy their lives are.