Today when most women are equally qualified and talented as men and have booming careers, many women still have to give up work to care for their families, especially after arrival of a baby. Unfortunately, even after excellent technology advances, telecommuting is not an option provided by many employers, which can enable moms to work from home.

Most new moms have good family support, most commonly grandparents and husbands come forward for help in case moms have to work. But at the subconscious level of thinking and approach, it is the mother who is meant to be the primary caregiver, and other family members are just the support. They feel the mother should be extremely thankful to the supporters as they feel they are doing something what she is supposed to do, that she should handle both the baby and the work on her own. She can quit if she wants to. They will be happy just to see the baby once in a while but when it comes to caring for the baby, there is a little look on the face saying ” I am not supposed to do it! “.

Is caring for kids a mother’s task? Or other family members are also equally responsible? Can a woman aspire to have a great career without worrying constantly about her child at her workplace (Is my baby doing fine at the daycare? Is the baby getting the care he/she deserves? How is my husband coping with caring for the baby?). Has nature too created mothers to be the primary caregivers (I agree to a good extent here. At the time of child’s birth, the child makes the first contact with the mother, identifies her with her smell, and becomes healthier if gets her warmth. This is not the case with the father. And I read somewhere, the first six months of a baby’s life, the baby considers himself / herself as one with the mother and not as two separate individuals!)?

absolutely,mothers play a very very important role in her childs life…women sacrifice a lot more of things other than their careers….i think mothers play a crutial role in every phase of a child’s life…be it the early years or the later stages of life….im the mother of a 5 yr old daughter ,from the time she was born to date i have never been dependant on anyone for her work from diaper changing to washing up or to any other small thing,though i have her grandparents living wid us…..like this i dont have to thank anyone for being there….I am happy to b a homemaker,like this i know every small thing happening in my daughters life….!

Thanks everybody for sharing your views, really good to know different viewpoints from wonderful moms! I have been working with employers who were not having woman friendly work policies, and I had to work on weekends and even on holidays. It was getting really difficult for me, and finally I had to resign. But I was really happy as a stay-at-home mom after that and it has been a fulfilling experience building this platform and getting to meet wonderful women and get inspired by them :).

I agree with Dhiviya as well that you need to find arrangements that work for you if you are serious about getting back to work and about a professional career in general.
There are many companies now that have women and working mother friendly e.g. IBM, Cisco, Oracle etc. to name a few. Most MNC’s allow you to keep a flexi timing and work from home.
But it is not as simple as saying that you need to move to a more flexi company. No company, even if they have flexi policies will be comfortable allowing everyone to work from home from get go.

For women who are serious about coming back to work after a baby or a gap, you need to plan a bit in advance. You may want to explore opportunities in companies that have flexi work policies even before you plan for a baby. That way you would have spent at least an year in the company before you go on a break/maternity leave. I find that when your employer/team/manager is aware of your work schedules and ethics, they will be a lot more supportive of your work choices later down the line.
If you do not have or do not wish to depend on grandparents, then you would need to find a day care/play school that works for you. That is where research may help. You could ask around your work place itself and look at various options before you zero in on one that comes recommended by other mothers. I personally believe that even if you have support system of grandparents or nannies at home, there is nothing like an informal play school environment to give that social and educational impetus to a child.

At the end of the day, balance means different things to different people. There are many who stay at home but let the kids sit in front of the TV for hours while they do their day to day chores and then there are also many who barely manage to spend 3-4 hours in a day with their kids but they make that count. I am not judgmental of either. I believe that all Mom’s do their best :)

I have a little one who is almost 2.5 now and I went back to work when he was 6 months old. I worked from home till he was 15 months old and then I enrolled him into a day care/play school that I was comfortable with.

I completely agree with you. Most top management is still mostly male oriented and making working mother or even women friendly policies are not even in their priority. That aside, a part of what I was trying is say is also that its becoming increasingly important to choose the kind of employers we need to work with. Of course sometimes that choice may not be possible. But a little bit of forethought goes a long way e.g. we know that most Indian IT services companies just don’t have flexi work hours and work from home policies and thats a fact. Its not something that is a revelation at the last minute.
But I do know and understand that it is not so simple and these things are easier said than done. We can only take solace in the fact that things are changing, albeit in small steps. There are companies that are welcoming women after a break and there are companies that have good working policies as well.
Fleximoms is one such platform for women who want to go back to work after a break and need that flexible environment.
:) thanks for sharing and allowing me to as well.